The changes in times
It wasn’t very long ago that being a stay at home mom was an undisputed reality. The men would go to work and the moms would stay at home caring for the household and the children. Mom’s would be the largest influence in teaching their children respect, giving them stability and of course unconditional love. Giving them the things only a mother or father can give.
Things have changed drastically over the last couple decades and now more often than not both mothers and fathers work outside the home. Understandably, for many, this has become a necessity. It seems as if there are no other options and people today just can’t afford to live off of a single stream of income.
What I feel really changed
Women now can be at almost constant battle to prove we are just as worthy and capable of running things as our male counterparts. We have fought and strove to become free from male dominance. To have equality between the sexes, to have respect, and to have our freedom. It’s really very beautiful how far we have come but this does not mean we have to give up our identities as women.
With our abilities to succeed in any occupation, it has raised the entire economy’s demands as well without taking into consideration the allowances we still need in order to raise up talented emotionally capable future generations.
In a working partnership, two people make up two halves of a whole. When we decide to have children we should push (and be allowed) to fill our roles. The man as the body: Safety, security, and strength.The woman as the soul: Love, comfort, and care. We really complete each other and should give one another complete respect. We both have vital roles in the family. We both work very hard and need to be understanding of one another.
With both parents working it has enabled the greedy to demand more money, raising the amount of money needed to survive. Where one mans income used be enough now two people’s income is barely cutting it. So, the problem with this is, if you’re both at work who is raising your kid?
Weighing options and mulling over considerations
I assure you my intention is not to put down any mother or make her feel like she isn’t doing or trying hard enough. That isn’t what this is about, I promise.
I understand that there are different circumstances that lead to both parents or single parents working outside of the house, but if there was a way to stay at home and be the main influence in your child’s life shouldn’t you hear those options out? Wouldn’t you consider them?
Nowadays there are plenty of opportunities to work from home and you could be taking advantage of them. Why? Because your children need their mothers at home caring for them.
I will be putting together a list of things women can do to achieve work from home by just being ourselves and believing in ourselves. We can help financially by working from home doing things that come naturally to us and we can raise our children at the same time. We are fully capable we just need to believe in ourselves.
Finding a babysitter is all good and fun right? Well, I’m not so sure. You see, the thing about that is:
- You’re paying someone a healthy chunk of your wages to watch your children and for most of us, we’re really not bringing home much more money at the end of the day.
- You could probably make more money by picking up side work at home and you’d be able to care for your own children.
- Having many different authorities in your life can be frustrating and confusing. Imagine what this can do to a child’s brain when what is and isn’t okay is constantly changing. How stressful it can be.
- Besides that, usually, no one loves your children more than you and nowadays you can never be sure who you’re really leaving your children with.
- There’s no denying it. Things are getting crazy out there and if any of you follow the news there is consistently becoming more and more tragic stories about the terrible things the people trusted to watch children will do. It’s shocking and horribly sad but we need to stop putting our children in the hands of other people.
- When you put your child in daycare someone else is spending the majority of their day with your child and eventually, becomes a large influence in your child’s life, or the other children your child is spending the day with. Who are these other children and who are their parents? Who is this caretaker really?
A child following multiple authorities
Your child comes home and may be mouthy, disobedient, emotional etc. The truth is it’s not their fault. They are being exposed to a completely different world than you are and they are soaking it in like a sponge. If their caretaker struggles with depression or is more serious and strict your child is going to absorb that into their life and show it through. This may be something that you’re not going to see in the small moments that you spend with this person because let’s face it, everyone puts on a bit of a show for adults but we feel unjudged by children and therefore tend to turn off our filters in front of them.
Now, I understand this isn’t always the case. There is a lot of good people out there, but there is a lot of bad people out there too. There are also good people that make bad mistakes, either way, how do you know for sure that who you are trusting to watch your kid is really who they say they are? Even if it’s someone you think you know very well, you could be wrong.
See Also: Starting a Blog For Beginners
Losing a sense of one another
Another instance to consider is perhaps your child has had a bad day and needed you, but you weren’t there… What do they do without you? Just suck it up? Sure, but how good is this for a child? Which it isn’t your fault. You’re trying to provide for them but they may not understand that. So maybe they have an attitude and you’re too tired and you’re both emotionally drained. You might lose a sense of one another. They might pull away from people. Possibly become depressed or angry and withdraw into themselves.
There can be so much confusion for them. You bring your child home and expect them to behave how you’d like them to behave but they are living with at least two different sets of rules throughout the day.That’s a lot for a little one to take in. Their emotions are like hair triggers and they don’t fully know how to hold them together yet.
Once again, they need stability.
I think deep down you would find that any child would choose your love over material comforts. They don’t want nice things. They want attention and love from you.
You carried them. You felt their kicks and flutters from the inside. You suffered an insane amount of pain to bear them into this world. You heard their first breath, felt their first touches and gave them love and life. Who else could feel the attachment and tenderness for your babies and know your babies like you do? (Other than daddy)
Doesn’t it only make sense that you should be the one caring for them? You know you will be watching your baby with a close eye and you know your own restrictions and allowances and so will they. They will have the stability (there’s that word again) that they need and be able to build confidence in themselves knowing what’s right and wrong and whether what they’re doing is okay or not.
I believe we need to start regressing back to our old ways a little bit here before the demand stumbles out of control. We need to start focusing again on what our family’s need and to start telling the greedy to kiss our booties. Fight for our rights to live a normal life again. Start building things with our hands, making our own clothes and start growing our own food again. Get our hands dirty taking care of our families instead of filling someone else’s pocket full of money and missing our opportunities to live a happy life with our families.
We need to teach our children what it means to be alive. We can teach them the giving of a life to fill our bellies. Teach them to appreciate the work that goes into the clothes on their back.
I think we’ve come to a place where no matter what ethnicity, gender, disability etc. We have proven we are people and can overcome any obstacle. We need to stop fighting amongst ourselves and start focusing on creating a better future for all of humanity. That all begins with our children and the way we raise them. We need to stand up and do what we’re supposed to do. Fulfill our roles and work together.
Let’s start piecing this crazy world back together one child and momma at a time. Give every human the love and compassion they need to move on to a better tomorrow and the strength to be who you want to be.
Love you guys! Be safe out there.